**At Christmas dinner, my dad carved the turkey, smiled like nothing was wrong, and said:** *“Since you paid off the $720,000 mortgage… we’ve decided to give the house to Emily as her graduation present. Oh—and she’d prefer if you didn’t come to the party. You’re… a bad omen.”*

At Christmas dinner, my dad said, ‘You paid off the $720,000 mortgage, but this house belongs to your sister.’ Since she was the ‘Real success story of the family,’ I smiled, ate another piece of cake, and decided that by New Year’s Eve, everyone would know whose name was actually on the paperwork.